5 Signs Of Perfectionism
On the surface, perfectionism might not seem like such a bad thing. But there’s a difference between wanting to always do your best and literally wanting everything to be perfect.
Perfectionism is much more than a desire for things to go well. It can quickly turn into an obsession. Perfectionism can lead to anxiety or depression. It can cause you to procrastinate to the point of not getting things done.
Perfectionism can even impact your relationships if you expect others to be “perfect” too. So, while there’s nothing wrong with doing your best and wanting things to go well, it’s important to make sure you’re not taking those desires too far.
Have you ever been told you were a perfectionist? Maybe you’ve thought it yourself. Let’s look at a few common signs of perfectionism and what you should do if this mindset negatively impacts your life.
1. There’s No Such Thing as “Almost Perfect”
Perfectionists tend to have an “all or nothing” attitude. That’s why you can easily tell the difference between someone who wants to do well and someone who absolutely needs things to be perfect.
Someone who wants to do well will typically be happy with an outcome if they do their best and are happy with the result. A perfectionist doesn’t believe in that gray area. If the outcome isn’t absolutely perfect, they see it as a failure.
2. Unrealistic Expectations
Perfectionists tend to hold extremely high standards that are impossible for themselves or anyone else to reach.
Setting goals is important, but those goals must be attainable. Reaching goals can help to motivate you and spur you forward. Perfectionists rarely meet their goals because they’re so unrealistic. When they don’t hit those goals, they’re met with feelings of depression.
3. Procrastination
On the surface, procrastination and perfectionism seem at odds with one another. But perfectionists tend to spend so much time focusing on things needing to be perfect that they can’t get things done. This is also caused by a fear of failure.
When a perfectionist has a task, they might start thinking about what would happen if they do it imperfectly. That failure can keep them from getting started at all. Unfortunately, that leads to a sort of self-fulfilling prophecy of failure.
4. Lack of Confidence
People with perfectionism might seem to have it all together. But, many of them struggle with low self-esteem and a lack of confidence. It’s one of the reasons why they feel they need to be perfect.
When someone thinks perfection is the only option, they tend to be extremely self-critical. Because they see anything less than perfect as failure, they might be quick to come down on themselves harshly.
It’s also not uncommon for perfectionists to isolate themselves and push people away. This can further contribute to low self-esteem and a negative self-image.
5. Results-Oriented Mindset
When you’re working on something, whether for your career or personal life, the journey is half the fun. No matter the result, you likely learned something along the way or had an experience to remember.
For perfectionists, the experience doesn’t matter. They are only focused on results, which can often hinder growth and make learning or retaining anything difficult.
What Can You Do?
If any of these signs of perfectionism sound familiar, you might be at risk of falling into some of the mindset’s pitfalls. Things like mindfulness, positive self-talk, and spending time with positive, encouraging individuals can help.
If your perfectionism is affecting your quality of life, consider working with a therapist to better understand the cause and learn techniques to help you overcome your need for perfection. Anxiety therapy can help you along your journey.